The impact of our nothing on the world.

I woke up to the nagging pull between: If I do nothing— nothing changes, and If I do nothing— nothing changes. 

A subtle and weighty difference. 

My human existence is but a speck on a long timeline of humanity and an even tinier speck in the universe I miraculously have consciousness within. What I do is irrelevant and thus there is no need to do anything… BUT also what I do is important, a vital lifeline for someone somewhere longing to feel less alone. 

This morning my son had a stuffy nose and wasn’t feeling tip top. He asked, “If I stay home, what will you do? Will you be writing all day?” And it was in that moment I thought “I am a writer.” For perhaps the first time I thought- “I am a writer;” and I believed it. My son sees me as a writer and so it must be. So it is. 

This morning I recorded a podcast for Speaking Light Into Abortion and inspired by my guest I saw again that “I work my way through life with words.” 

My words.
Her ears.
Her words.
Mine.
And then, together we grow.
Words really are medicine.

They are the adaptogens of the human experience. Without our explicit direction, moving us toward the path of the highest good for all.

It is 12/17/2024. In the white house, AOC vs. Gerry, a bid for top democrat on The Oversight and Accountability Committee. This country refuses to put women in leadership. Words, policies, actions, art… We are going to need it all on the table to Make America Moral Already. This morning I wanted to walk away from the fight. Let it burn. Stop believing I had any power. This is the way of the pacifist— tempting in the short term, but poisonous in the long. Maybe we’re not all here to fight the AOC fight, climbing our way up no matter how far they try to knock us down, but we can all do something. 

Our global need for healers, and activists, and warriors for change is ever growing. Our planet is gasping for breath. Our people are drowning in patriarchy. The animals, the plants, the water and even the air are screaming for our attention: to be seen, heard, held… Individually we scream for the same. 

When our bodies make babies we were not ready for…
When our nervous system reacts to the assault it withstood years prior…
When the lives we know to be possible are smothered by the portfolios of billionaires…
We scream in all the ways: to be seen, heard, held.

If we do nothing— nothing changes, and if we do nothing— nothing changes. 

The world will spin on without my words.
The people will keep breathing.
If I write nothing— nothing changes. 

But simultaneously the ripple cannot be denied. 

I gave her my words.
She gave the world her healing.
If I wrote nothing- nothing would have changed. 

I am a writer. 

Some days I will write nothing and nothing will change.

Some days I will write nothing and nothing will change.

Both are real and true and both matter.

Now what?

 What I wish is not only for my head to hit the pillow each night at peace, but for it to hit the grave, leaving behind my ever so powerful and inconsequential nothing.